a formal complaint

                                                                                                                                      October 24, 2010

Dear God,
              Is it alright if I call you that? I just wasn't sure if that was formal enough or if a Yahweh or Hosanna was more appropriate. I am writing to you due to some confusion/ lack of communication between both of our patries lately. What exactly do you think you are doing? More specifically, what the hell are you doing with me?  Maybe there's some confusion but I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be this hard. Or at least not yet.  The number of questions I have for you and the number of explanations I need from you is astronomical. But, in order to be as thorough as possible, I'm going to list as many as I can think of:
1.) Why are you thinking it's okay to have these women come into my life/house, win me over, and then leave without any warning, explanation, or apology? And they have to break my heart as well? No offense, but I think that last part is a little overkill.  I mean, couldn't you have created me with just slightly less emotions and/or feelings?
2.) Speaking of emotions and feelings, I'm REALLY sick of them right now so could you maybe just take them away somehow?  That would be great.
3.) I'm gonna need you to make me heartless.  We're not talking long term here, more just like a few days so I can recover from all this emotional turmoil. Would this be possible?
4.) Why are there people in this world that just don't care?  And I don't simply mean those who don't feel as though it's their duty to serve others, I'm talking mostly (right now) about the people that are being served.  Why don't they give a shit that I cry about them at night or that I wake up every morning at 6 a.m. in order to help get ready for breakfast in order to make their day easier? I'm aware that these are not their problems. I made a commitment to do this and I shouldn't whine. But shit, I mean could they at least WANT to get better not only for themselves but for those they love? Or in some way, appreciate this house for what it is; a safe place to get back on your feet? Just some thoughts.
5.) Could I just get one hug every once in a while? The only hug I've gotten since I've been here (besides from myself...yes, it is possible) has been from a two year old. I mean hell, I've been used to hugging everyone I talk to practically for my entire life and now you're just going to take that away? I mean, it's your prerogative but to be honest, I really don't think you're playing fair right now.

Until further notice, I believe that's all for now.  Thank you for your time and consideration.  Again, just review what I have mentioned above and I'm sure negotiations can be made.

Sincerely,
            Caitlin