Wednesday, August 4, 2010

fish outta water

days till san jose= 24 days and counting

i guess i should explain myself (and my countdown) for those of you who have no idea what's going on. i'm sure questions such as "why does caitlin whyte now think she's cool enough to blog?" and "what could she possibly have to say?" are popping into your head. for the record, i know i'm not cool enough to blog...and as far as having things to say...well i seem to always have something to say. whether or not it will be worthy of your time is up to you!  but fo real, i am about to embark on a journey of sorts and i am very excited about it!  in 24 days (as the countdown has previously stated) i will be well on my way to san jose california where i will spend at least the next 6 months volunteering/living in the catholic worker named "casa de clara"...for those of you who are unfamiliar with catholic worker houses, they are houses all over he united states that serve those who don't have homes.  the catholic worker movement was started by my girl dorothy day (close second to mother teresa on my list of girl crushes) during the great depression. the idea behind the catholic worker houses is to live in solidarity and community with those you're serving.  i've always wanted to do something like this and i am! doing it! i know, it's hard to believe...even for me. caitlin whyte actually following through on one of the big schemes she comes up with on a daily basis? you betchya!

after this past year at school, i realized that i never felt right about my decision to go to rockhurst.  it wasn't the was more so a feeling of discontent.  i knew even going away to school last year that i didn't really want to be in college but i did it anyway. i don't regret doing so because i met some great people and learned a lot.  i do however, believe that i would regret going back being fully aware of the fact that doing that, is not what i feel like i should be doing right now.  i've become a big believer in trusting your gut...following your intuition...more often than not, you're not too far off base.  so that's what i'm doing.  following my intuition...all the way to san jose!? i'm really excited and a big part of me just wants to hop on the plane right now!

 there's a lot of unknowns about this adventure i'm about to go on. and that makes me a little nervous...not bad nervous. just...nervous. like butterflies in your stomach nervous. i don't know what it will be like, who i will meet, what experiences i will have, how homesick i will be, or where this advenure will lead me. but i do know a few things:
1.) i will never be fully prepared to do what i'm about to do...but i'm as prepared as i'll ever be
2.) those i meet will in some way affect and influence me as a person
3.) the experiences i will have will allow me to grow and love
4.) i will miss my, friends, confidants...however, i will NOT miss the state of missouri's gift of humidity
5.) wherever this adventure leads me, it will be where i'm supposed to be at that moment in time

so yes, there are many unknowns.  there are many opportunities to fall flat on my face and fail.  but there are some "knowns" as i like to call them.  the biggest one being that God is with my wherever i go. and there are also many opportunities for me to fly and succeed. i am so excited to go somewhere with the me, myself, and the big guy.  i'm so excited to see what He has in store for me.  i'm excited to go somewhere i've never been and where i barely know anyone. it's exciting to be thrown into a situation (or throw yourself into a situation) where nothing is certain. yes, that does mean more room for failure...but if you're looking at it "glass half full" there is SO much room for success. and it's pretty much all good in the hood because to me, even failure is good. you fail, therefore you grown, therefore you succeed.

so there's my first blog. now i see why people are so into it...i just was in a trance for the past 30 minutes.   i'm not really sure if everything made sense, i'm  pretty sure there were grammatical errors, and i'm positive that i rambled.  but i hope you enjoyed it and if you didn't i apologize...because there will be more to come...sowwy!