Friday, December 31, 2010

black and white

sometimes i think it's really that that is. a lot of people would argue this statement and i think at times even i would, but there are certain aspects of love and relationships that are just as easy as yes or no, black and white.  i mean, you either care about someone or you don't.  you either feel a certain way about someone or you don't.  those are the simple parts. what's hard is that we complicate hurting each other, by failing to be honest and compassionate. we complicate it with our impatience and our insecurities.  i've spent most of all of my time since i've been home loving, or more accurately, trying to love everyone around me.  and i've come to a conclusion: we make it very hard for ourselves to love, even to love those we care about the most and especially those we don't particularly care for.  so this is my new years resolution: to try to love at all times. and even when i know i'm failing at that, to keep trying. because it's not about how good you are at loving those around you, it's about trying.  because as long as you're trying, you care. effort and persistence is love. 

happy new year everyone, may i continue to try and may you hopefully feel my efforts and translate that into love.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

nothing fancy

today was a beautifully simple day.

i went walking with my mom in the morning. we walked to mass and we could see our breaths as we hurried along the sidewalk to make it to the church in time. we laughed as we walked to starbucks and she ordered her usual venti misto and got me a breakfast sandwich and whole milk. i smiled and made faces to a little boy across the room. then we walked home and showered. christmas shopping all day which was weirdly relaxing and leisurely. then tonight i went to adoration up at incarnate word and it was serene and beautiful. my youth minister spoke at adoration and he told us that we are the true gift of christmas. that we should give of ourselves because that's the greatest gift of all.  when he said that is wasn't a feeling a realization for me. it was something i already knew; already felt.  it was a nice being reintroduced to a long lost friend. i love that god draws me close through these small ideas and comments. tiny triggers that bring me back to where i need to be. little gifts he gives me.simple, everyday gifts. i love simple. and i love falling in love with coldplay all over again. and i love christmas lights. that's why i love this song and that's why i want to share it with you.