keep it loose, keep it tight

before i take the entire first paragraph to tell you all how much i love this song, i must first start out and tell you that my backspace bar is currently acting up and not letting me delete anything so what you should know about this blog is that it's completely unedited and full of chalk full of intention. this song by amos lee, is simply beautiful. i love songs that don't have a chorus yet still manage to roll off the tongue.  there's some lines in this song that i mull over everytime i listen to this song and i decided, "hey! why don't i blog about this?" blogging is such a relaxing way for me to end my day. i used to journal a lot more but i'm a perfectionist when it comes to my handwriting and well, i'm a hell of a lot faster at typing. 

"well relationships change, oh i think it's kinda strange"
this part of the song has always stuck out to me but more so in the recent months because for the first time in my life, i am feeling the full weight of relationships changing...for better...or for worse. they just do. people change so changes in relationships between people is inevitable.  there's some change that a like such as: getting a haircut (a good haircut), re-doing your room, switching up what you have for lunch or dinner.  and then there's those changes...the inevitable changes. that get me everytime. these changes, such as: growing apart from your best friend, never talking to someone again, distancing yourself from people that don't help you grow and encourage you...those are the tough changes. changes i don't really like if we're being honest. but hindsight's always 20/20 and i realize down the road, that these changes that have occured within some of my most important relationships are necessary. either necessary for both parties to flourish in their own activities and responsibilities. or necessary for someone to move on and realize things about themselves that the relationship was keeping them from realizing. or necessary for someone to love themselves and therefore love again. regardless of the necessity, change is going to happen whether you like it or not. so don't try and fight it or keep it from happening. instead, embrace it...at least, that's what i've decided to advise myself.

"we all need a place we can go, and feel over the rainbow."
this lyric reminds me of the song "everybody's got that something." every person on this earth has, or at least deserves to have, something that brings them joy. a hobby, relationship, career...these little things that bring joy to us are part of our vocation here on earth. because if we're not joyous, truly happy people, then we can't live out our own personal mission.  i've found that for me, if i'm not happy, i can fake loving people pretty well. by that i mean that loving those around me just comes second nature to me so even when i'm unhappy or have lost my joy, i make sure that people at least still think that i'm loving them. but i recognize that i can't truly love others the way i want to, but more importantly the way God wants me to, if i'm not joyous. so whatever it is that makes you joyous, make sure it's as much at your fingertips as it can be at all times. because you don't realize how important your rainbow is until it's not there.

"but sometimes we forget. what we got. who we are. oh and who we are not."
this lyric has really hit home with me lately. i find it quite humorous how easy it is for me to forget all of the above. i constantly forget what i've have because i find myself constantly thinking about things i don't have. it's probably one the most annoying issues i have to me.  i forget to look around me a lot of times and see not only how much i have materially, but how many people love me, how much God has blessed me with emotionally, physically, spiritually. it's good i suppose to always be trying to improve yourself, but i think that it makes it a lot easier to lose sight of all you've been blessed with when you're constantly trying to make things better. i don't usually have a problem with losing sight of who i am but i do find myself having trouble with remembering who i'm not. i forget that i'm different from other people and that things that aren't an issue with them or their personal values, are sometimes issues with me and mine. and while i get frustrated a lot with how "different" i feel from my peers sometimes, it really is a beautiful thing. we're all so different and i think the world would be a much better place if we started to embrace our differences instead of masking them.

"there is so much more in love than black and white"
this one's my personal favorite and kind of ties in to my last post. there is so much grey and inbetween with love that it's hard to ditinguish if something is really love or not. or if you're doing something out of love or not. love makes people do "stupid" things. it makes you come up with excuses for someone you love, despite how much they've hurt you. it makes you remain even the slightest bit hopeful that someone you love with come around or change despite how many times they've proven to you that they won't. it makes you lie awake at night wondering what you did wrong or what you could have done to make the situation better. but that's love. you love sight of yourelf in a situation. and all you can see is that other person. the only problem with that is if that love is one sided. if you're the only one focussing on the other. that's when lines get blurred, black and white becomes grey, and hearts are broken.

but in the end, just remember

"keep it loose child.keep it tight."